with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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