and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
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She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
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hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The convent might be a nice break from real life
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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