I met the friendliest cop last night
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize