I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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