At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
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You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
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Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Congratulations! We have a period
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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