i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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