I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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