I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
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She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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