yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
