Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize