Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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