I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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