the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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