my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
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they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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