dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize