She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize