so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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