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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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