So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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