1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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