Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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