And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
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I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
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I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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