You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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