I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize