i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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