This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize