Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
if only i could text you this smell
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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