i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
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So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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