Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize