I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize