Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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