So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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