the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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