I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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