My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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