My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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