Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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