Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
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I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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