Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize