I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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