I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize