When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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