I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize