I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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