I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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