no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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