I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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