Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You were trust falling into bushes
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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