I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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