I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Everclear isn't food dammit
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize